January 2008 Stuff
Star Python!
Supreme Court Renamed Court Xtreme!
Washington, DC - Responding to growing disrespect for the law, the United States Supreme Court voted 5-4 to rename itself "Court Xtreme!".
"The President has ignored the courts for too long!" said Xtreme Justice Stevens (Ring Name: Bo-Tai).
"He suspended habeas corpus, conducted massive domestic spying without judicial oversight, and formed a fourth branch of the government headed by Dick Cheney!"
"Well, we're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore!"
The White House responded swiftly. "Wow!" said spokesmodel Dana Perrino, "Can I get courtside tickets now?"
"Correct citation form now include the exclamation point!" noted Court Xtreme Clerk Gronk the Citator. "Whiney cases that dis our sacred Constitution will be DISmissed with prejudice --- Xtreme Prejudice!"
Chuck Norris, Hulk Hogan and Jackie Chan will provide advice as "friends of the court". Industrial Light and Magic will supply effects. The Constitution was unavailable for comment.
---filed by rewinn - 1/16/2008
Superbowl 2008: Patriots vs. Bush Crime Family
DC - Superbowl 2008 will feature a matchup
between the New England Patriots football team and the Bush Crime Family.
"The Patriots would defeat any professional football team," said a
spokesman, "So now it's time to score some yardage against those who have
betrayed our great nation."
The Crime Family has a reputation for a strong defense. But their actual
record is just the opposite. Early in the season, the Family ignored
scouting reports and was surprised by an Al Qaeda aerial offensive.
It did better against the Taliban, scoring heavily in the first quarter, but
blew its lead with the infamous "Tora Bora" play. In position to take bin
Ladin out of the game, the Family instead pulled its professional talent and
hired local players who, predictably, fumbled. The Family never recovered
the offensive since it had set its best players into training for the next
game.
The third game started with League officials insisted Iraq wasn't on the
football schedule. The Family produced a PowerPoint presentation proving
that Iraq had a football team ready to launch at America. No Iraqi football
was ever found; Coach Bush later claimed it was a misunderstanding since
what most of the world calls "football" the Americans call "soccer".
Throwing away the rule book, the Family tried plays that left fans deserting
its side. Without any rules on how to score the plays in Iraq or even to
define an ending, the game in Iraqi went into multiple overtime, leading to
cancellation of matches against Iran, North Korea, Cuba and Bermuda.
This record does not make Patriots confident of overcoming the Family. "The
Bush Crime Family's priority is not victory on the field," said a spokesman,
"It's a profit-making organization. And no-one is better at separating fans
and taxpayers from their money."
(More of my work at http://www.thespoof.com/search.cfm?writer=6507 ) - 1/14/2008
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I'm An American, and I Approve This Message
America should be #1 in healthcare. Not just because healthcare pays off as an investment (although that's a good reason too!) but because we are AMERICA!
I reject the pessimism and cowardice of those who think we can't do it. -11/13/07
The Lawyer Lifecycle
The lifecycle of a lawyer, from the first idea of serving the law to the final distribution of a life's assets, can span 80 or more years. Yet, few are those who plan their cycle carefully, and few are the resources in support.
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Deciding to Practice Law
Earning the Law License
In the United States, the practice of law is regulated by the jurisdiction in which you practice. Typically, this is a state or other district, but there are special rules for federal courts and so on. Typically, you must be licensed by a state after passing a bar exam, but even to take that bar exam, you must have either:
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Earned a degree at a law school, or
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In some states, completed a Law Clerk program. This is also known as "reading the law," and is a form of apprenticeship to be distinguished from Judicial Clerkships performed by persons already admitted to the bar.
Practicing Law
As a general rule, neither law school nor the bar exam have a lot to do with involve actual law practice. It is rather like a medical school in which students don't actually see blood, but instead focus on the theories of Galen and molecular biology - useful background, to be sure, but not of the greatest importance in staunching arterial bleeding. The skills of practicing law are typically learned in one of two ways:
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Clerking in a law firm, court or agency large enough to employ them. Rough estimate put about 10% clerking in law firms, 10% in government, and 10% in large non-law firms.
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Opening a solo or small law practice and finding out what works by trial and error. While the true entomology of the phrase "law practice is shrouding in the mists of time, it has acquired an ironic patina as new lawyers must practice their skills on clients without the supervision of experienced senior counsel.
Staying Professional and Staying in Business
Traditional professions re characterized by a specialized body of knowledge and a heightened duty of responsibility to clients. The practices of medicine, divinity and the law are the type specimens. Note that nothing in the definition mentions money; traditionally it was assumed that the profession was practiced for a higher purpose, but an upper-middle-class lifestyle would be the minimum that naturally accompany it.
This may have been the case in the 19th century world of Abraham Lincoln and Justice Homes. In the 21st century, it is nonsense. Entering the practice of law involved a large minimum investment for the education alone, and probably as much again to capitalize the solo practice as a startup. This subject is rarely or never touched on at law school or on the bar exam; many law professors airily assure students not to worry, all worked for them and all shall work out for the student. The concept of "sample bias" is not taught.
It is estimated that about half of all small businesses started in the United States swiftly fail, but the collapse of most of them harm few except their principles and their creditors. A failing law practice, on the other hand, can work great harm on its clients. For every case mentioned in the annals of lawyer disbarments and compensation reached through Lawyer's Funds for compensating clients, there is an unknown number undetected by trusting clients and painfully scraping by with the help of staff and partners.
It is therefore extremely important for anyone considering the practice of law to develop a business plan before starting the investment. Before borrowing a single dollar for law school tuition, the prospective student should have access to enough capital to keep their small business running for a few years. This almost never happens; it would be amazing should any law school to raise this subject with their applicants.
On work that addresses the subject is Jay Foonberg's "How to Start and Maintain a Law Practice".
Lawyer Humor
Fortunately, the practice of law offers the solace of humor. While many lawyer jokes are merely repurposed ethnic jokes, a non-insignificant number of lawyer/humorists offer insight into law as it is actually practiced through lighthearted sallies published in legal journals.
More To Come ...
Past Thoughts & Stuff
